The Sky Isn’t Falling, The World Isn’t Burning

The world is still full of opportunity, hope, and success. Do not listen to the fervent, rabid rantings of those who urge you to “sit poolside and watch it all burn”. Apathy is the enemy and every new day that passes brings further advancements in medicine, technology, architecture, and culture. However if you listen to the naysayers in the media and some prominent bloggers in this corner of the Internet you would think western culture is breathing its last tepid breath. Staples of their arguments consist of rising divorce rates, twerking, ISIS, popular music, etc… yet I refuse to believe we reside in a cultural dark age. There is and always will be good, well meaning people providing quality art that inspires the masses. Here are some of those people and their work.

Alina Baraz

Talented singer coming out of Cleveland, Ohio. Has created quite a stir in the electronica world with her amazing voice and collaborations with producer Galamatias.

https://soundcloud.com/alinabaraz

George Maple

Another sultry singer, this one coming out of Sydney, Australia. I find it difficult to classify her fantastic music into one genre so I’ll let you decide.

https://soundcloud.com/georgemaple

Nicolas Jaar

The greatest producer you’ve probably never heard of. At only 24 years old, Jaar has taken the music world by storm since 2011 and has released a slew of hits that have tossed up the electronica world. Together with his interdisciplinary production house Other People, Jaar’s stock continues to rise worldwide.

www.nicolasjaar.net

Bonobo

Buy it, thank me later
Buy it, thank me later

My all-time favorite producer continues to amaze music lovers worldwide by dropping fire on a consistent basis. Six days ago on 10/20/14 he released the title track Flashlight off his album of the same name and it properly hyped us for another solid masterpiece set to drop 12/1/14.

http://bonobomusic.com/flashlightep

Let the world know about other artists that deserve to be heard from in the comments below. Until the next time, keep your head up and forge forward, all progress depends on you my friend.

 

Feminists Cried: Olympics Prove Women Can Be Successful AND Attractive

*Rest easy, this post contains no pictures of feminists.

Every four years some of the most dedicated and physically fit human beings alive get together to have wild orgies and sometimes compete against each other for national glory. If you look at these games as a microcosm of humanity we can glean valuable information from them. In particular what characteristics we look for in short term sexual partners. Most of the female Olympians I see in competition fit a standard (excellent) bill.  Long hair, radiant smiles, and of course top shelf ability. No matter what country they hail from or what sport they compete in, they all attempt to cultivate a traditional feminine appearance.

 

Abby Ghent
Abby Ghent

But if you think about it, these are the same women who should have every excuse to slack on the additional beauty tips. Of course their bodies are in excellent shape due to the rigorous training, but makeup, hair, nail polish, take precious time when your sore from training for 8 – 10 hours a day. This stands in stark contrast to ugly feminists everywhere who claim they are too “busy” to pretty themselves or cultivate a pleasant personality. These Olympians train daily for years to be the best in the world while Lindy West trains to see how many doughnuts she can fit in her mouth at once.

Allison Baver
Allison Baver

These Olympians serve as an inspiration to all women, you can be the best in the world and still look good.  But hey I’m sure Sandra Fluke had a harder day lobbying on Capitol Hill.

 

 

Men Need Lofty Goals

If I could only live to see it, to be there with you. What I wouldn’t give for twenty more years!

-Hyman Roth

The old man provides valuable insight into delayed gratification and effective planning. It made me think of where I would be in 20 years, and if I would I even be alive, much less successful in the goals I’ve set. If I don’t have a plan I know I won’t be.

I don’t know a lot of men with a long term plan. Sure the cops and teachers want to make it through their 20 years and retire, but that boils down to survival more so than dedicated plan. I think with age the ability to plan long term arises, but by then it’s too late. Most of the mid 20’s men I know barely have a 2 year plan, and what they do have only concerns their career. If you ask them where they will be in 5-10 years, it’s the rare man that can give a definitive answer. Of course circumstances change and unforeseen opportunities arise but even a general sense of direction will help. That’s where the lofty goal comes in. Like a far off lighthouse guiding you through the mist and rough waves of life, the goal acts as a beacon. How you navigate the various obstacles is up to you, but the direction is always clear. An oft used example would be Odysseus and his adventures on the way back to his beloved family. Years and thousands of miles separate the man from his home, but possession of self and mental fortitude  forge a rugged attitude, “nothing will stop me from my goal”.

My advice on planning is distilled in a quote spoken by Dwigt D. Eisenhower. “In preparing for battle I have always found that plans are useless, but planning is indispensable.” I know and fully expect for problems to arise. No plan survives first contact and by expecting issues and allotting both time and resources you can effectively overcome them. Think back to when you waited until the last moment to write a paper for school. You find out there’s an extra section to write, the printer doesn’t work, traffic on the road, internet slows to a crawl. You didn’t plan for the problems and paid the price, now extrapolate that for life.

Many men think they have the world of time to accomplish their vision. “Just as soon as I finish school, pay my loans, move, etc…” I’m guilty of it too and I fight everyday to stay on track. You’re mortal, you will die, and you probably won’t see it coming. There isn’t time to reminisce on missed opportunities, neither is there time to drag your feet in fulfilling your goals.

Sit down and write out where you want to be in 5, 10, 15 years. Mentally, physically, emotionally, spiritually, where you want to live, where you want your family to be (financially, physically, etc…) I don’t know what diverse goals you have set for yourself but charting a road map is the only way to success.

30775-plan-quote-mike-tyson-qMXC

In Case You Missed It: New Year No Fear Edition

“When your out there partying, horsing around, someone out there at the same time is working hard, someone is getting smarter, and someone is winning. Just remember that.”

-Arnold

Addicted2Success: 52 Motivational Picture Quotes For An Epic Year Of Success

Inverted Euphemism: How To Choose A Cigar (Infographic)

Quick Info Planet: Know Your Rights (Infographic)

Bold And Determined: Why Small Business’s Fail (And How Yours Can Succeed

Social Caffeine: 37 Blog Posts About Social Media Marketing

Silodrome: The 12.9 Litre Weineck Cobra V8 (1100 hp!)

Art Of Manliness: The Power Of Ritual

Wimminz: Lez Be Friends

Wall St Playboys: New Years Resolutions

Swords out, shields up men. This is your year, but no one is going to hand it to you. You’ll have to strain but there is an outstretched hand waiting for you on the other end. The only question is will you reach out far enough? H/T to all those consistently producing solid pieces, Wall St Playboys, Jose L. Romero, Kenny, Victor Pride, Heartiste, the RoK crew, Matt Forney, GBFM, Danger and Play, everyone on the Delusion Damage twitter, and everyone else in the sphere.

never-give-up-ever-picture-quote

 

 

 

How To Deal With A Relapse

“Relapse is now seen as the rule rather than the exception in addiction recovery. And it is no longer viewed as a catastrophe but as an opportunity for learning more and better strategies for overcoming urges and for identifying the moods and situations that are likely to be difficult. What is inappropriate is black-and-white thinking about success that turns a slip-up into a disaster and sees it as a sure sign of defeat. The fact is that it takes time to change all the mental apparatus that supports any particular habit-the memories, the situations that trigger craving, and more. Addiction changes brains, and it takes time to change brains back.”

-Psychology Today

*Disclaimer: I’m not a doctor, nor should this advice be substituted for professional medical advice.*

Days Without Incident: 0

Look in the mirror, reset the counter, regret the encounter. Whether your addiction is substance related or behavioral, the chance of a relapse is substantial. As I said before, the opioid system and habit cycle in your body are formidable opponents in the face of change. To change engrained systems such as these will take time and effort. This recent foray into addiction management hasn’t been my first rodeo and I’ve come up with a steps that help straighten my mind out. Some might work for you and some won’t, take them with a grain of salt.

– Deal with the immediate medical issues / emergencies (stomach pumped, etc…)

– You feel like dogshit, mentally and physically, accept that you made a mistake.

– Contact your support structure, ideally people that fully understand addiction and relapse and will not judge you harshly such as  Narcotics / Alcoholics Anon, addiction clinics / wards, friends, family, hotlines.

-The shame, addiction, shame spiral is extremely powerful. (You use drugs to ease the pain of shame, then feel more shame after, negative feedback loop.) You must focus on the positive to snap yourself out of it. You have the courage and fortitude to take the first steps toward sobriety and had a small misstep along the path. You have not failed, only faltered momentarily.

-expertinmind.com

– Write down everything that lead up to the relapse. Events, how and what you felt, why you felt that way. Jotting it down will clear up the reasons why and will help you rectify the situation next time.

– Change you state: State dependent memory is real and can sink your boat. Work out and get a sweat going, change your clothes, go for a walk. Learn what moods and situations trigger your addiction cravings and deal with them accordingly. You’re going to have to remove certain people and things from your life, accept that.

-Dr. Gabor Mate’s definition of sobriety: “Sobriety is developing a mind state focused not on staying away from something bad, but on living a life led by positive values and intentions. It means living in the present moment, neither driven by ghosts of the past nor lulled and tormented by fantasies and fears of the future.” Read his book, it changed my life and will probably change yours.

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Share your best tips on how to successfully cope with a relapse in the comments. Good luck and God bless.

 

In Case You Missed It: 12/8- 12/14 It’s Not Over Till You WIn Edition

EaL: Live Truly And See Truly: Quitting Porn (For Good)

ListMuse: How To Be Well Read In No Time: 40 Short Novels

Cracked: The 3 Types Of Regret That Can Destroy You

Victor Pride:-How To Conquer The Fear Of Success ,     –The Shockingly Easy Way to Get People to do What You Want

Cook To Bang: –Naughty Eggnog,     – Mr.Morning Magic Hour

Steve Pavlina: Overcoming Trust Issues

Matt Forney: How To Get Groupies By Blogging

Swoop The World: –How To Cheat on Your Girlfriend,     –Staying In Shape While Traveling

Wall Street Playboys: –10 Ways To Evolve Your Game,   –Guideline For Choosing A Career

CBP: The Manager’s Cheat Sheet: 101 Common-Sense Rules for Leaders

Last Longer In Bed Techniques: Sexy Sex Positions You Should Try- Part 3

Swords Out, Go And Kill Shit This Week.

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Last Week : In Case You Missed It: 12/1 – 12/7 Get Amped Edition

Live Truly and See Truly: Quitting Porn

“Wanna know how I got these scars?”

 

Want to know how it feels to quit porn completely? Well this post is for you. This is a longer post than usual but well worth the read, here;s the TL;DR version if you cannot:

  • You will feel like shit for a bit (your personal mileage will vary)
  • Set your own limits. Some men do not fantasize, watch nude scenes in films, read erotic lit, or have sex during reboot.
  • Use the YBOP forums and/or RebootBlueprint for support and accountability. Porn blockers are a viable option.
  • Relapsing is common, do not stop the reboot or start to binge after a relapse.
  • Friends and family may not understand what you’re doing or why you’re doing it.
  • The benefits are numerous and real but take time to develop.

On Oct 1 2013 I quit completely on a whim. Things were getting out of hand and I had to make a change. Around the same time I started EaL I also started a Tumblr that focused on tasteful erotic art, which soon spun out of control. What started as tasteful art degenerated into straight up porn, I started receiving unsolicited nudes from women, offers to cyber, and offers to meet up in person. A 19 year old tight bodied Brazilian woman sent a video of herself getting off to what I had posted. Likewise two 22 year olds sent a vid of them fingering each other to my inbox. Not going to lie, I got hooked.

On 10/1/13 I stopped checking, but never deleted it. I still get updates on new followers and reposts every now and then, but ego stopped me from deleting (who doesn’t love unsolicited nudes / msgs from attractive women?) So it’s been a little over 2 months now and I can say I beat the urges and such. Here’s what I’ve learned. Of course every brain is different and you’re experience will vary. *P= porn, M= masturbation, O=orgasm, hence PMO masturbate to orgasm using porn*. –The first few weeks are absolute shit. I was completely miserable for the first 2-3 weeks. Luckily I read several articles on the always excellent Your Brain On Porn forums. Before you make the decision you have to read up and learn what to expect. The dopamine plug of infinite internet porn is pulled and your brain is pissed. Some guys get physically ill and face something akin to withdrawal symptoms from opiods ( I got the flu last year when I first tried this). The only solution is to eat right, work out, and stay busy. Take supplements to balance out chemical deficiencies in your brain and forge onward.

Makeup; Turning albino Scandinavian boys into porn divas in no time.

 

Edging, erotic literature/ art, porn, fantasies… I abstained from M completely for the first month. While I have never had a problem with erectile dysfunction, early ejaculation, or anything like that it still takes time for your brain to re-wire itself. Don’t read erotic literature, watch porn, edge, and sometimes you shouldn’t even fantasize. For those of you who don’t know what edging is, it’s keeping yourself at a state of peak arousal with out orgasm / sex and does considerable damage to your prostate. This is sheer willpower, mind over matter stuff. Some guys M, some guys have sex, some abstain during the reboot. It’s your call depending on where you see yourself. I had sex during the process and I like to believe it helped speed up the process.

Porn blockers and accountability If you really can’t will yourself to stop watching there are resources for you. First off clear your internet history so every time you type in the letter p pornhub doesn’t pop up. While I haven’t used porn blockers, they came highly recommended from the forums. Some of them offer the added option to automatically send an email to someone of your choice if you visit one of the sites on your blacklist. For more accountability use the YBOP forums. There are answers to EVERY concern and question. Men of all ages from 12 – 80 share their experience there and it has helped me substantially. Trust me, when you’re sex drive flatlines and you feel like a eunuch for a week or you relapse it’s important to have that support structure there.

Relapsing is common, don’t beat yourself up or quit. This generation has practically been raised on porn since they grew up with high speed internet. Some have been watching porn since they were 12 or younger and this forms a major habit, coupled with the fact that GUYS IN THEIR TEENS NOW SUFFER FROM PORN INDUCED ED, this was more than enough reason to stop. Obviously the sooner you pull the plug the better, but there are guys quitting after 20 years and the neural pathways are strongly engrained, enabling a relapse. When this happens DO NOT QUIT THE REBOOT AND DO NOT BINGE. Many have fallen to the death spiral of a relapse whether it pertains to behavioral addictions or drug abuse. I know a few guys who relapsed and then rationalized away hours long porn binges. Guess what, you feel like shit for the next few days because you caved. I don’t reset my counter (partly because after day 30 I stopped counting days and count months now) because I know I’ve worked hard and one slip won’t send me into a spiral. I just now suffered a minor relapse and that’s what made me write this.

Don’t expect regular people to understand. Not one of my close friends can comprehend the thought of decreasing porn use. I didn’t think it would be so controversial when I brought it up but most guys have never even thought of stopping. Now I just keep it close to my chest.

Benefits Finally the meat of the issue.

  • First and most importantly you can’t get porn induced ED. If you value having a functioning dick into your golden years cut porn out right now.
  • Save time
  • Less computer viruses
  • You remove the infinite supply of pixelated hot women forcing you to develop yourself enough to pull flesh and blood attractive women.
  • Stable mood throughout the day / week.
  • Masturbation is enjoyable, even energizing again as opposed to leaving you lethargic and weak.
  • You killed one more addiction, making you a better man in the process. This takes an enormous amount of willpower and is something to be proud of when completed.
  • Paraphrase from a Heartiste commenter on porn; “In gorilla troops the alpha fucks the female while the betas watch and masturbate. By watching porn you’re relegating yourself to beta by watching an alpha fuck a chick. If you’re going to watch anything, watch two chicks at least, then your half-way to alpha”. Don’t know if it’s true but it’s something to think about.
  • These 92 other benefits.
Morning after pill? Try morning after lawsuit, I’m suing your ass for deceptive advertising and bait and switch.

 

I’m going to start looking at these before I hit the bars from now on.

For your reading pleasure: Why Men Should Sexually Discriminate

Know That You Are Invincible

In Case You Missed It: 12/1-12/8 Get Amped Edition

work-out-workout-motivational-posters-serious-bodybuilding-com-forums-33446

Victor Pride: How I Make 10k Per Month Online

Sex 3.0: Imagine If Marriage Didn’t Exist

Journey Of Superman: How To Start A Business With No Money

T Nation: CrossFit: The Good, The Bad, The Ugly

Wall Street Playboys: Cliff Notes For Evaluating A City

Badass Of The Week: Andrei Sakharov

Chaos & Pain: In Death Ground Fight- Part 2

EaL: Stephen Covey’s Proactive Model, Real Advice For WizardChan.org Members

Danger And Play: Find Your Canary In A Coal Mine

This is going to be a weekly post, from now on. Anything I find to help men better themselves will be included, finance, science, self-development, etc… Had about 10 more to post but WP ate the draft. If you see anything worth posting or have a comment drop it in the comment section.

Go out and kill shit this week.

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Stephen Covey’s Proactive Model

http://www.cartype.com/images/page/ferrari-aurea_frontside1.jpg
http://www.cartype.com/images/page/ferrari-aurea_frontside1.jpg
Ferrari Aurea

“While the word proactivity is now fairly common in management literature, it is a word you won’t find in most dictionaries. It means more than merely taking initiative. It means that as human beings, we are responsible for our own lives. Our behaviors is a function of our decisions, not our conditions. We can subordinate feelings to values. We have the initiative and the responsibility to make things happen.

Look at the word responsibility— “response-abilitiy” —the ability to choose your response. Highly proactive people recognize that responsibility. They do not blame circumstances, conditions, or conditioning for their behavior. Their behavior is a product of their own conscious choice, based on values, rather than a product of their conditions, based on feeling.

Reactive people are often affected by their physical environment. If the weather is good, they feel good. If it isn’t, it affects their attitude and their performance. Proactive people can carry their own weather with them. Whether it rains or shines makes no difference to them. They are value driven; and if their value is to produce good quality work, it isn’t a function of whether the weather is conducive to it or not.

Proactive people are still influenced by external stimuli, whether physical, social, of psychological. But their response to the stimuli, conscious or unconscious, is a value-based choice or response.”

-Stephen Covey

The 7 Habits Of Highly Effective People

Success Principle: Temper Your Expectations

Lamborghini-Veneno-internet

Setting realistic goals is a valuable but difficult task for any ambitious soul. Ambition and motivation will mess with you and say you can be flying down I95 in that $4 million Veneno in two years time while you struggle to jump-start you’re 97 Mercury Tracer. Stories of the overnight millionaire and kids who hit it big in their 20’s are exceedingly rare despite the MSM’s insistence that it happens all the time.

People have a vision of “the life” in their mind’s. You know what it generally looks like, a fast car, attractive spouse, spacious house with every amenity, interesting friends, large bankroll, etc… What they don’t realize is that those things are loosely connected at best and don’t come in a nice neat little package. In a nutshell; you can have the money to buy a Ferrari but no have idea how to control 700 hp to the rear wheels. As they say the skills don’t come with the money. You could have the bankroll but the personality of a drunk sloth, guess what you have no friends or significant other. Or you have charisma in spades but no liquid capital, the examples go on forever. Forget that bullshit mindset “money buys happiness” and start setting specific goals in each area of you’re life. If you start from the bottom there is no place for pride in this process.

Women:

600full-daria-konovalova

You want to attract supermodels into your life but can’t approach women alone/sober/at all. Maybe you’ve never been in a relationship or maybe you do well with average looking women. Take positive steps, small at first to work your way up. Start a relationship with an avg chick or one who is below the threshold. Learn the ins and outs of the female mind (through experience not blogs) and build up from there. Trade up when you feel comfortable or start a soft harem. Everyone has different sticking points and it’s impossible to cover them all in a paragraph, most likely you know what you need to do, just do it already.

Pro-tip: Game + Access= Win. If you don’t travel in the same circles as her, you’re gonna be gaming your hand at the end of the night.

Money:

money-rolls

Minimum wage slave with big dreams. Focus on doubling your income in the next 2-3 yrs. The lower you start the easier this is i.e… you make $7 an hr currently and a quick craigslist search finds numerous jobs paying at least $14. It gets harder when you bank $500,000 already but not impossible, it just takes a sharper mind and a little ingenuity.

Keep the grand vision in the back of your mind and set small manageable goals daily/weekly/monthly/yearly. This is a marathon not a sprint.