Feminists Cried: Olympics Prove Women Can Be Successful AND Attractive

*Rest easy, this post contains no pictures of feminists.

Every four years some of the most dedicated and physically fit human beings alive get together to have wild orgies and sometimes compete against each other for national glory. If you look at these games as a microcosm of humanity we can glean valuable information from them. In particular what characteristics we look for in short term sexual partners. Most of the female Olympians I see in competition fit a standard (excellent) bill.  Long hair, radiant smiles, and of course top shelf ability. No matter what country they hail from or what sport they compete in, they all attempt to cultivate a traditional feminine appearance.

 

Abby Ghent
Abby Ghent

But if you think about it, these are the same women who should have every excuse to slack on the additional beauty tips. Of course their bodies are in excellent shape due to the rigorous training, but makeup, hair, nail polish, take precious time when your sore from training for 8 – 10 hours a day. This stands in stark contrast to ugly feminists everywhere who claim they are too “busy” to pretty themselves or cultivate a pleasant personality. These Olympians train daily for years to be the best in the world while Lindy West trains to see how many doughnuts she can fit in her mouth at once.

Allison Baver
Allison Baver

These Olympians serve as an inspiration to all women, you can be the best in the world and still look good.  But hey I’m sure Sandra Fluke had a harder day lobbying on Capitol Hill.

 

 

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