*The public speaking part two post will becoming soon, I want to write the most helpful article I can so it is in constant revision.*
For a little over a month now I have been focusing on all aspects of my mental self-image. It wasn’t a conscious choice but it seems to be the next leg of my personal development journey. With Danger & Play’s most recent article “Using Visualization to Take Your Game to the Next Level” I took it as a sign I had to riff on the topic.
Surprisingly enough it started with Neil Strauss’s book Rules of The Game. Now this had to be about three years but the ideas rocked me to the core. The concept that I controlled what I told myself (self-talk) was foreign to me at the time. When I started to really focus on what I told myself it wasn’t good at all. For every fuck-up no matter how minor I would mentally or sometimes verbally tell myself “your such an idiot” or something along those lines. C on a test “god your dumb”, approaching a girl “she won’t like you, why bother”. I never figured out how long I had been doing it but it was so long that I didn’t notice it anymore and I took it for reality. I had to change it. As with any bad habit it was going to take constant practice, patience, and above all determination to to break it.
You have to watch every single reaction you have to anything. The first step is obviously notice yourself going negative. Then you have to stop yourself from expressing the thought. Third you have to replace the negative thought with a positive one. It was a LONG process and I make it sound simple but I did struggle a lot. I still catch myself once in a while as it is an insidious practice. What I found is that the negative self talk is synonymous with negative outlook (derp). Together with positive self talk I had to change my outlook on life, I did this making the decision to be awesome.
Sounds ridiculous I know but it is that simple. Journey of Superman posted a video that summarizes the concept. In the above vid Brent Smith speaks about not letting circumstances dictate your emotions. Instead you control how you feel by the thoughts in your head. It once again shattered roadblocks in my head. The light-bulb moment was about an hour in, some guy asks Brent what he does when he wakes up in a bad mood. You know what Brent says? He says “I tell myself I’m not”. That sounds like a crock of shit but in context it punched me in the gooch until I wept. The concept of being forced into a bad mood by uncontrollable circumstances does not even register to him anymore. Once you realize the truth that you can filter your thoughts and control your emotions 100% there is no turning back.
He then relays the story of a roommate he once had who would loudly proclaim every morning; “I make thousands of dollars, every woman loves me”, incantations along those lines. According to Brent this friend despite being average looking and at the lowest rung of his company, over time attracted everything he wanted including a beautiful wife and ideal job status. Some of you might think that Brent Smith is a money hungry PUA spouting hackneyed quips on development, but if you have changed your self-talk you know the truth to these statements. It is the law of attraction in action. If you don’t believe in Brent Smith fine, Jim Rohn one of the greatest personal development coaches ever, speaks extensively on the topic.
“Success is something you attract by the person you become”. That statement floored me in my kitchen when I heard it last week. You don’t pursue, let it come to you. (The first of many Fearless pearls of wisdom) I HIGHLY RECOMMEND the MasteryTV series on youtube. 30 days, 30 speakers covering diverse topics such as the psychology of success, how to build trust & rapport, and effective listening among many others. I guarantee it will help you with your game, business, and life. Along with the MasteryTV series I started another series by CharismaSchool.com titled “How To Develop A Magnetic Gaze That Attracts Anyone Anytime” so I can get chicks pregnant by eye fucking them relentlessly.
I forgot about my real life case studies and instead ran towards a diatribe loosely associated with self image. Next post then…