Want to know how it feels to quit porn completely? Well this post is for you. This is a longer post than usual but well worth the read, here;s the TL;DR version if you cannot:
- You will feel like shit for a bit (your personal mileage will vary)
- Set your own limits. Some men do not fantasize, watch nude scenes in films, read erotic lit, or have sex during reboot.
- Use the YBOP forums and/or RebootBlueprint for support and accountability. Porn blockers are a viable option.
- Relapsing is common, do not stop or binge after a relapse.
- Friends and family may not understand what you are doing.
- The benefits are numerous and real but take time to develop.
On Oct 1 2013 I quit completely on a whim. Things were getting out of hand and I had to make a change. Around the same time I started EaL I also started a Tumblr that focused on tasteful erotic art, which soon spun out of control. What started as tasteful art degenerated into straight up porn, I started receiving unsolicited nudes from women, offers to cyber, and offers to meet up in person. A 19 year old tight bodied Brazilian woman sent a video of herself getting off to what I had posted. Likewise two 22 year olds sent a vid of them fingering each other to my inbox. Not going to lie, I got hooked.
On 10/1/13 I stopped checking, but never deleted it. I still get updates on new followers and reposts every now and then, but ego stopped me from deleting (who doesn’t love unsolicited nudes / msgs from attractive women?) So it’s been a little over 2 months now and I can say I beat the urges and such. Here’s what I’ve learned. Of course every brain is different and you’re experience will vary. *P= porn, M= masturbation, O=orgasm, hence PMO masturbate to orgasm using porn*. -The first few weeks are absolute shit. I was completely miserable for the first 2-3 weeks. Luckily I read several articles on the always excellent Your Brain On Porn forums. Before you make the decision you have to read up and learn what to expect. The dopamine plug of infinite internet porn is pulled and your brain is pissed. Some guys get physically ill and face something akin to withdrawal symptoms from opiods ( I got the flu last year when I first tried this). The only solution is to eat right, work out, and stay busy. Take supplements to balance out chemical deficiencies in your brain and forge onward.
-Edging, erotic literature/ art, porn, fantasies… I abstained from M completely for the first month. While I have never had a problem with erectile dysfunction, early ejaculation, or anything like that it still takes time for your brain to re-wire itself. Don’t read erotic literature, watch porn, edge, and sometimes you shouldn’t even fantasize. For those of you who don’t know what edging is, it’s keeping yourself at a state of peak arousal with out orgasm / sex and does considerable damage to your prostate. This is sheer willpower, mind over matter stuff. Some guys M, some guys have sex, some abstain during the reboot. It’s your call depending on where you see yourself. I had sex during the process and I like to believe it helped speed up the process.
-Porn blockers and accountability If you really can’t will yourself to stop watching there are resources for you. First off clear your internet history so every time you type in the letter p pornhub doesn’t pop up. While I haven’t used porn blockers, they came highly recommended from the forums. Some of them offer the added option to automatically send an email to someone of your choice if you visit one of the sites on your blacklist. For more accountability use the YBOP forums. There are answers to EVERY concern and question. Men of all ages from 12 – 80 share their experience there and it has helped me substantially. Trust me, when you’re sex drive flatlines and you feel like a eunuch for a week or you relapse it’s important to have that support structure there.
-Relapsing is common, don’t beat yourself up or quit. This generation has practically been raised on porn since they grew up with high speed internet. Some have been watching porn since they were 12 or younger and this forms a major habit, coupled with the fact that GUYS IN THEIR TEENS NOW SUFFER FROM PORN INDUCED ED, this was more than enough reason to stop. Obviously the sooner you pull the plug the better, but there are guys quitting after 20 years and the neural pathways are strongly engrained, enabling a relapse. When this happens DO NOT QUIT AND DO NOT BINGE. Many have fallen to the death spiral of a relapse whether it pertains to behavioral addictions of drug abuse. I know a few guys who relapsed and then rationalized hours long porn binges. Guess what, you feel like shit for the next few days because you caved. I don’t reset my counter (partly because after day 30 I stopped counting days and count months now) because I know I’ve worked hard and one slip won’t send me into a spiral. I just now suffered a minor relapse and that’s what made me write this.
-Don’t expect regular people to understand Not one of my close friends can comprehend the thought of decreasing porn use. I didn’t think it would be so controversial when I brought it up but most guys have never even thought of stopping. Now I just keep it close to my chest.
-Benefits Finally the meat of the issue.
- First and most importantly you can’t get porn induced ED. If you value having a functioning dick into your golden years cut porn out right now.
- Save time
- Less computer viruses
- You remove the infinite supply of pixelated hot women forcing you to develop yourself enough to pull flesh and blood attractive women.
- Stable mood throughout the day / week.
- Masturbation is enjoyable, even energizing again as opposed to leaving you lethargic and weak.
- You killed one more addiction, making you a better man in the process. This takes an enormous amount of willpower and is something to be proud of when completed.
- Paraphrase from a Heartiste commenter on porn; “In gorilla troops the alpha fucks the female while the betas watch and masturbate. By watching porn you’re relegating yourself to beta by watching an alpha fuck a chick. If you’re going to watch anything, watch two chicks at least, then your half-way to alpha”. Don’t know if it’s true but it’s something to think about.
- These 92 other benefits.
I’m going to start looking at these before I hit the bars from now on.
For your reading pleasure: Why Men Should Sexually Discriminate